Plants

I previously had exactly one houseplant, a large-leafed, glossy green thing that someone sent me after Vulcan Husband's death. Over and over again, I forgot to water it, it wilted and appeared to be dead as a doornail, I frantically poured water over it, and it miraculously resurrected. It was a remarkably forgiving plant.

A month or so ago, I decided to do some redecorating. I started looking through magazines and books on the subject, and I saw lots of houseplants pictured.

"I can't grow houseplants," I thought. "Every time I try, they die."

It occurred to me that they probably die because I forget to water them (yeah, I'm a brilliant thinker). It also occurred to me that if I just remembered to water them every two days or so, they probably wouldn't die. Well, at least not as fast as they have in the past, anyway. So I went out and bought a few of the more durable varieties of houseplants, like philodendron and ivy (both of which you really have to work hard to kill).

They looked nice. It was nice to have green things in my house (out of the reach of the dog, I might add). I stopped by the grocery store's floral department one night with the intention of buying more ivy, and saw some pretty little miniature roses.

"No way," I thought. "Last time I had one of those, it died."

I considered the matter and recalled that it had died because, you guessed it, I kept forgetting to water it. Once again, it seemed to me that the best solution would just be to water the damn plant. So I brought home a rose (its flowers were a pretty off-white color) and put it on my kitchen table.

It looked nice. Before long I added three roses to my office (pale pink, hot pink, and yellow), one to my bathroom, and one to my bedroom. I then started buying "Lucky Bamboo," which isn't bamboo at all, but which grows in dim light, thus making it a good way to have something green growing in the dark corners of rooms. I bought four of those. I bought a bunch of varicolored tropical plants. I bought a desert rose. I bought four large tree-type plants for my bathroom and family room. I...

Well, you get the idea. I have a heck of a lot of plants all of a sudden. The plants weren't so expensive, but when you add in all the pots and a plant stand or two... well, it's not cheap, but it does make the house look a lot more alive. And to my own great surprise, I haven't had the slightest problem remembering to water them all. Even the Plant of Miraculous Resurrections looks happier, and everything else is growing. Actually growing! Imagine that!