Wednesday, August 24, 2005

OMG, it's so huge!!!

Michelle has a hilarious post over at the Raven Happy Hour (warning: explicit language) about heroes in erotic romance and their huge members. Which makes me want to comment on something I've noticed in Angela Knight's books.

Now, let me be perfectly clear: Angela Knight is my absolute favorite erotic romance author. She's a goddess, and I am not worthy even to cower at her feet. I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy! And yet I'm going to comment on her writing anyway:-).

AK writes super, fabulous, hot love scenes. But in every AK book I've read so far, at some point in the book the hero's schlong is compared to a baseball bat. Every last book. And every time, I put down the book for a minute just to cringe. I mean, a baseball bat is just too darn big. That'd hurt, dontcha think? There's a fine line between sexy fantasy and scaring the hell out of the reader, and that metaphor scares the hell out of me, personally. If I were the heroine, at that point I'd be jumping to my feet, grabbing my scattered clothing, and yelling, Keep away from me, you freak!

What do you think? Do you like to read about heroes of epic proportions, or is there a point where it just becomes too silly? Feel free to comment... but if you know a guy in real life who happens to resemble a baseball bat, I don't really want to know about it *shuddering*.


  1. Not romance heroes, but real life...

    I just blogged about this yesterday. Heard on the radio that in South Africa, they are making condoms big enough to accomodate a 12-inch member that is 8 inches in circumference.
    South African men were complaining regular condoms were "too tight."

    Manufacturers are hoping to boost condom use to prevent AIDS in South Africa. But wow... a foot-long? Now THERE is a baseball bat! Or would you call it a cricket bat? :-) Link is below.

  2. I tend to view comments like the baseball bat as hyperbole and don't view it literally. I'm going to remember that image, though, and notice it when I read Knight's work.

    What gets to me are references to it being as big around as a woman's wrist. Maybe I have a big wrist, LOL! But that one always puts an unpleasant image in my head.

    I also read one book where it was referred to as a footlong, which also startled me. For one thing, it makes me think of hot dogs. For another, when talking in those terms, a foot sounds bigger than 12 inches. It just does for some reason.

    I think it's great when a hero is average-sized.

  3. I think it fits, because Angela Knight's heroes are usually way too big for a normal human male anyways. Very tall, very wide. Perhaps she just likes big men. Would be strange if those giants were average dpwn there:)
    Wonder why just about every romance reader thinks she is a goddess. I mean, she is a decent author, but I'm at a loss as to why everyone thinks she's the greatest writer since Hemingway. If Hem wrote romance, that is.