We finally got all the kids together and had DH's birthday celebration, which consisted of a cake, a card, and an offkey rendition of "Happy Birthday." We rummaged up a couple of number candles from the kids' birthday parties and put the numbers 3-9 on top of the cake. DH lit the candles (last time I got near a candle I set my hair on fire, so I stay far away from the blasted things) and brought the cake to the table.
Kid #3 (the four-year-old) pointed at the cake excitedly.
"Look!" he yelled. "Dad's ninety-three!"